Sometimes things just shake. They kick you in the gut and shake you to your core and you wonder if you will still be standing when the dust settles.
Those are hard times.
I’m in one of those hard times right now.
There are so many variables in my situation that I can’t seem to go to any one person in particular to receive counsel because no one could account for all the variables or has a handle on all the possible outcomes of every situation.
It’s unfathomable.
The thought makes me nauseous.
But when you are in the middle of your mess and can’t turn around, like a cow in a cattle chute, all you can do is inch forward. Sometimes in cases like that, hope isn’t even an option.
All you got is just you moving forward to see what there is to see, and see if you can stand in that new spot.
Yup, that’s where I am now.
The Back Story (Josh 6)
Rahab had her family near. Likely, they were hiding in a small apartment in the Jericho wall. She probably wondered – worried if the spies would honor their agreement. Odd, she felt such confidence in them when they left, but as time has passed… and she was faced with her old life, same look in the mirror… hearing the thousands of armed men marching just outside her wall… waiting for disaster… hoping with a shred of red rope…
All she could to do was wait.
Wait to be killed
Or rescued.
Then things happened so fast like a sonic boom. She heard the yells, but she wasn’t sure if it was her own or the ones from outside, her house was shaking. Stuff fell off the walls. Then the walls fell off itself. Plaster chunks hitting the floor… Still the shaking. The floor rolled like an ocean. Couldn’t stand up… Shaking , hoped the roof won’t cave in and crush them. The sounds of rocks crashing… impenetrable walls falling down. Screams from inside and outside the apartment. Terrifying. The deafening roar of an avalanche of rock and wall crumbling, crushing people. Silence! The walls stopped waving.
Another terrifying sound.
The roar of thousands of warriors…
Is this it? Heard the cries of her family… wondered about her neighbors… The door burst open… the glint of swords…
absolute fear…
they said “come:… She obeyed without question… shooed her family out the door with her… Only chance… How they managed to get out of the crumbled city through the fighting she’ll never know. But she remembered the coughing and choking through the dust and fires. Nothing is familiar.
She followed her guides to the base camp of the Israelites. She noticed their whispers. Yes, she still looks like a prostitute and camp of the set-apart Israelites seems G-rated… Sigh…who am I… She noticed a little girl pointing at her asking her mommy if she’s a princess because of her fancy clothes… a princess…? she looked in the face of one of the spies, he told her to come, there was kindness in his eyes…
She didn’t look back as she left – what would she have wanted to cherish? The pain of broken hearts? Mainly hers?
She is on her way to a place where they have prepared for her and her family…
Thoughts
Are you in the place there you think you’re gonna die? Emotionally? Even physically? You are not alone. Help is on it’s way. Hang on, just a little more.
Yes, the shaking may last longer than you feel you can endure, but hang on.
God will hold your heart and settle it like a lamb with his Shepherd.
Trust.
Don’t know how to trust? I understand. Give Jesus everything you are (all the jumble of pain, and questions and frustration and defeat that you have). Trade it for assurance of being seen and saved, the peace that is beyond human understanding and the hope that he has in real-time in Heaven. He doesn’t have to have hope, he is hope – and he wants to give you that part of himself, so you can plant it deep within your heart.
It’s okay if it takes a tentative time to grow in the quiet place of your heart. He’ll cover that for you. He’ll watch and tend it. It’s his hope anyway… He’s the source and that can never run dry.
Take a moment and journal, or document: What do you want most in the whole wide world? Dare you give that dream to God? (yes, there is fear in trusting another person, even God, with your dream).
Ask God about what quiet hope that he wants to start to grow within you. Write it down.
Don’t know who you are? In the story, there’s no recording of a little girl asking if she was a princess, but why not – they wore the same clothes…it was their actions that set them apart from one another. (Ezek. 16:8-26).
Rahab was redefined when she walked through the fires of Jericho. All those who had abused her, hurt her, called her down, shunned her, used her, and rejected her were dead. Her past was dead. She left her prostitution and became a princess – literally – Now, she didn’t know it at the time, but God took her from the ashes of her life and changed her direction, she would become the Great-great Grandmother of King David.
We all have ashes – that used to be fires that were meant to burn us up. You are so much more than ashes. You are redefined – you are a child of the Most High God – and as such, you have the privilege of walking to your loving Father in Heaven, to ask not only about what you need, but what’s deeply on your heart about your situation.
Don’t stop asking. He’s your Dad now. A loving, kind, generous and compassionate Father. Here is a word of caution, however, don’t mistake the evils of what others do to you as God’s judgment or thoughts towards you.
God says, in Isaiah 54:15 “If anyone does attack you, it will not be my doing;” God isn’t about attacking, he’s about saving! SO he goes on to say, in the same verse, “whoever attacks you will surrender to you.”
Darling, what demons of fear and deception and malice and sickness or anything else have to wave their white flags of surrender to you? With the authority you have, with as God as your Dad, you can say “Fear can go to hell, Shame can go there too” (Song: Prophecy your Promise). You really can beat the enemy!
You have a place prepared for you. YES you!!! Fully prepared. Fully furnished, with all your quirks and idiosyncrasies in mind – things that you will delight in. I promise. That’s part of the hope, that’s part of the promise God has for you. Created, especially for you with all the heart of the Father poured in, into seeing exactly who you are.
Take a moment: Ask God about what his preparations are all about for you. If you have no foggy clue – check out Is. 41:9-29. God gives us the greatest word-picture-perspective on how he see you and how he sees your circumstances. And I sense a little sarcasm in vs. 21-23)
https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Isaiah+41&version=NIV